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Patrick Hurley writes in a plethora of fields, including science fiction and mysteries. This is his first appearance in Galaxy’s Edge.

EXIT INTERVIEW
by
Patrick Hurley

Look, how was I supposed to know I shouldn't be in the control room? I thought all those signs were for passengers, not staff.

Fine, I guess, if you want to be technical, I'm just part of the hospitality staff. No need to be snobby about it. Not everyone can be a member of the oh-so-important security team like you. Doesn't Intergalactic Cruises' mission statement say that we're all part of the same crew?

Look, can we be real? If we're looking at apportioning blame, this can't be all my fault. Some of the blame lies with your people.

Of course I’m serious. If you really didn't want anyone in the control room, you shouldn't have made it so easy to get into.

Sure, the control room was secured by an encrypted lock, but any five-year-old can crack that.

Okay, good point, the ship's mainframe was counter-locked with a passcode known only to Captain Masoni, but I mean, his password was so obvious. It's like he was just inviting someone in.

Why it’s his pet cat Oliver. Well, that combined with his birthday. Along with some other randomly sequenced digits. Might as well have been “1234” or “password”.

I don't see how my record is relevant to this discussion.

Five stints in cryo for cyber-cracking, to be exact. But who doesn't have a peccadillo or two from their wild days of misspent youth? I bet you get up to all kinds of trouble when you're in port.

Look, it wasn't that I hid my criminal record when I applied to work for Intergalactic Cruises, it just didn't seem particularly relevant to joining the hospitality team on the ship. You folks hired me for my singing, not my expertise in cracking digital security systems.

Why did I unlock the ship's navigational computers? I was curious, I guess. The company mission statement encourages staff professional development. I’ve always wanted to learn how to navigate a cruise ship.

Yes, it was a coincidence that the Duchess Herzibina was on this ship.

No, I’ve never even heard of the Starheart Diamond.

I resent your insinuation, young lady. When we finally get rescued, I shall be reporting you to HR, security chief or not.

Look, how was I supposed to know not to push the Emergency Stasis button?

Okay, yes, there was a sign over the button that read AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY but I thought that was just for the ship's passengers. I certainly didn't think it applied to staff.

Of course not! That's why I pushed it. I was curious. What else could my reason be?

What an interesting theory! But it would mean that I knew that the Emergency Stasis button would put all non-essential staff into instant cryosleep, that I pressed it with the intent of stealing this fabulous little stone. And that would be a silly plan, because the button also renders the ship's engines inert, sending out an SOS signal for another ship to come get us. I'd be trapped here with you. Besides, what would I do with the diamond? Seems like a terrible plan to me.

I suppose, perhaps, if this was all part of some cockamamie, elaborate scheme—not that I admit to any such thing of course—that after taking care of the duchess's security, I would have removed the diamond from her lovely person, but instead of hiding it, I'd have ejected the Starheart into space with a tracking device to be found by my cohorts after the ship had passed through. Then all I'd have to do is wait for my team's signal before activating a short-range teleporter. But if that were the case, then all I'd be doing during our lovely little interview is stalling for time until I received the signal.

No need to point that thing at me, young miss. I was speaking hypothetically.

Of course I'm sweating! You're pointing a gun in my face.

Oh, you mean the beeping in my pocket? I could check, if you—

Ow! Ow! Fine. You take it. It's just a PDA.

You think I'd actually carry such a teleporter in my pocket? If I had one, it'd be implanted to my cortex. All I'd have to do is think the command.

Hmm, I'm not sure what would be faster, your trigger finger or my hypothetical implanted teleporter. Why don't we find—

Copyright © 2017 by Patrick Hurley.

 

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

HOME

The Editor's Word

FICTION
AIR QUOTES
by Eric Cline

NOTHING TO LOSE?
by Edward M. Lerner

GETTING TO KNOW YOU
by George Nikolopoulos

CARBON DATING
by Effie Seiberg and
Spencer Ellsworth

FINDING MARS
by Lou J Berger

CAPRICORN GAMES
by Robert Silverberg

EXIT INTERVIEW
by Patrick Hurley

OF WATER AND WOOD
by Emily McCosh

ROLE MODEL: A DAN SHAMBLE
ZOMBIE P.I. ADVENTURE
by Kevin J. Anderson

NEED TO KNOW
by Mercedes Lackey

THE DEAD GUEST OF
HONOR SPEECH
by Larry Niven

INTERVIEW
KIJ JOHNSON
by Joy Ward

SERIALIZATION
Double Star (Part 3)
Heinlein's First Hugo Winner
by Robert A. Heinlein

COLUMNS
From the Heart's Basement
by Barry N. Malzberg

Science Column
by Gregory Benford

Recommended Books
by Bill Fawcett & Jody Lynn Nye

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © Arc Manor LLC 2017. All Rights Reserved. Galaxy's Edge is an online magazine published every two months (January, March, May, July, September, November) by Phoenix Pick, the Science Fiction and Fantasy imprint of Arc Manor Publishers.